The problem with unconditional love-

To provide context, 'love' here refers to relationships, friendships, any kind of ship you are on.
Disclaimer:  My beliefs on the subject matter may change in 3-5 working days .

I have recently come to terms with why unconditional love might be the most disastrous thing on the planet - that term should not be made for humans, agape love should be from God to human or something out of this world because it can be truly toxic.

Let me explain.

I saw a tweet where someone said, my love comes with terms and conditions. It made a lot of sense on the surface, i.e "Just because I love you, doesn't mean you can try shit"
As I dug deeper I began to realise why we want love and the saying
" I want someone to love me for who I am",
or the wedding vow
 "in good times or bad" (something like that)  can prove to be crazy.
I now have to love you just because we said we will, even though our situations have changed.
or to criticise myself, I want someone to love me for me because I am not ready to evolve in character, hence why you should take it or leave it.

Me interpreting my thoughts

To elaborate, do we just want people to like us and be around us even though we still need growing by ourselves.

Is it just acceptance/companionship under the umbrella of love?

A major reason why I think a lot of people break up is because they put unrealistic expectations of one another because " I love you" ugh. It is also the reason why a lot of people stay in abusive relationships because love is the dissolver of all our issues, even when he/she/them decides to be abusive (emotionally, physically) we can sugar coat love on it and it will be all okay.

I think a forward- thinking way would be to think on your definition of love. Define with your partner what the things are that can make you fall out of love with them. Set out your the terms and conditions- Love should be something mutual between two (or more if that how you get down) parties realising flaws and still providing support so both can grow until the end I guess.


So I end this blog by saying my title was not to say love is problematic but rather to see how people perceive love and why they keep hurting themselves because of it.

Thanks, and stay tuned( even though I am not talking- I have more problematic topics coming on the way and the next has to do with enabling mothers, toxic masculinity and feminism.